Friday, October 9, 2015

This Life Is 100% Your Responsibility.

Don't have much time to write today because I have an early evening class, but like I always say, the urge is sometimes too much! Bahahahahah!

I used to enjoy the reaction people give me when I say I teach yoga. They either re-state what I said, 'you teach yoga!?!' or go like, 'wow!'...hahahahah! Talk about an ego-boost! Bahahahahah!

I've talked about this in my previous post, but I'm going to blab on about it again - I don't want to be put on that pedestal! Hahahahah really truly understand now what Deep was talking about...hahahahah! Mindfuck again! :P :P :P

I'm not some God-send, here to fix all your problems. I will share with you my experiences, by experiences I mean which philosophical, motivational, inspirational, yadda yadda yadda concepts as well as what action I myself took to get me through those situations. I can only do so much on my part, the rest is up to you.

I'm not a yoga goddess! I have my own set of faults & shortcomings, some of which could be even 'worse' than yours! As per previous post, I believe the healer - healed equation is a dynamic one. Until I achieve Mooji or Mother Theresa status, there will be times when I am the one in the gutter & need to be pulled out. Similarly, there is only so much you can do for me, the rest is up to me!

It is not my job to present a perfect image of my life to anyone, not in class nor out of class. It is my prerogative to be real. It is my choice to let people in on the real me, the human that I am, someone who experiences the highs & lows of life just as the next person. & to let people know that it is okey to allow yourself the space to go through the motions, instead of repressing them. Just because I teach yoga, it doesn't mean that I am automatically a saint, I am a practitioner just like anybody else, & some days I do well, some days I don't do well.

I'm starting to get fed up of reading articles etc on Spirit Science, Elephant Journal, etc etc. Sometimes these articles cause the mind to over-think too much. They do more harm than anything, even if the intention was good. & we all know what over-thinking does to us, bahahahahahah!

But I quite like this one. Regardless of whether it's bloody Mercury Retrograde or not, I think it is uber important to practice self-reflection, or in yogic terms Svadhyaya (self-study).

How does this situation make me feel? Why?

How did the things he/she say to me affect me? Why?

How? Why?

These are very important questions to ask ourselves. But first, we need to cultivate the awareness of our thoughts & emotions. Are we just letting our emotions sweep us off our feet, or are we able to watch them & evaluate before taking further action? The world is not how it is, it is as we see it, it merely triggers in us reactions & feelings.

I know this is not always easy. It's a very difficult matter in which running away from it can often look easier than facing it head-on. But have courage. It is for the best. Get to the root of the matter, don't just pull up the sprouts.

So forgive me, dear ones, if I have ever caused harm to you intentionally or unintentionally. I have my own BS to dig through, & my own battles to fight. Don't place me on a pedestal, for you will be sorely disappointed. I am what I am. Like the song says, 'when I'm fucked up that's the real me'.

This song pops to mind now:

I know it would be outrageous
To come on all courageous
& offer you my hand
To pull you up onto dry land
When all I got is sinking sand

I'm not God. I don't pretend to be. I don't intend to be. I am me.

Everyone is responsible for their own life. Today's the day - in this moment, you are alive & breathing. What more could you ask for? Sing, dance, celebrate! Who knows how long this will last! So many things to be grateful for, to enjoy, even sadness is something to be grateful for - you can experience sadness & be grateful while enjoying that sadness! LMAO it sounds strange doesn't it! Hahahahah! Much love & gratitude peoples, past few days I've somewhat lost the plot...heheheh...

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