Friday, October 23, 2015

Are You Holding Yourself Back?

This morning I woke up to the quote:

An average American spends $15 a day eating out. That's $450 a month. Include drinks about $600 - $750 a month.
In two months you can buy a ticket anywhere in the world.
You can afford to travel.
You're just too lazy to cook.

Another great read:

Now I'm not saying that only Americans are guilty of this. This can happen to anyone, anywhere in the world where commercialism exists. It applies to all of us, & not only on food but also clothes, shoes, etc. etc. It's never about not having enough money - it's a matter of priorities. A little amounts to a lot. If you want something, you'll have to give up something else, but you won't consider it a sacrifice. When it comes to success, there is no such thing as sacrifice. You simply do what is needed to make your dreams come true.

You want that dress from H&M?
Walking round the mall, want a juice?
Buying flowers every week to brighten up your room? (Ooops, guilty! Bahahahah!)

Hell yeah, by all means, do whatever your heart desires. But just bear in mind that each expenditure sets you back *that much further* from that bigger dream you have in life.

Please, dear reader, upon reading the above statement, do not create the aversion towards spending on the little things in life. Sometimes you really have to let loose & succumb to instant gratification.

The great Tao of life:

'You are free to choose what you want to do - but you are not free of the consequences of your actions'. But at the same time, 'you only live once' & 'there is no future, no past, only Now'. LMAO!

I think the article in the link says it all:

It isn't uncommon for you to struggle against the internal tide that is trying to turn deep within you in order that you can maintain the illusion of 'knowing what you are doing', feeling or being seen to be 'taking charge' or 'in control'.

And from this place of deep inner resistance and fear, you latch rigidly on to what seems to be perfectly legitimate justifications that you should continue doing whatever it is you've already been doing.

This can sound like any one of all of the following:
  • I can't afford it right now.
  • I don't have the time.
  • It would be best for me to revisit this opportunity next year.
  • My kids are too little.
  • My parents, partner, or spouse wouldn't approve.
  • After x or y happens, it will be a much better time.
  • I feel like I need to see what I've got on my own.
  • I will come up against too much resistance, judgement, and even rejection if I do.

Any of these sound familiar?

You see, my dear friends...fear manifests itself in many forms. It is one thing to know what you want & what you love in life. But it is another thing to know if you are sabotaging yourself.

We are all capable of great things, & we all deserve to have the things that we deem best for ourselves. But we all come with our own bullshit. Intense past experiences are very much capable of moulding fear into us. & we can go on denying as much as we want to, or polish it over with other distractions; the truth of the matter is that it will never go away if we do not have the guts to look at our fear in the eyeballs.

It is uber easy to be brave from a distance. It is easy to say, 'I want to be the CEO of a company', 'I want to have a fulfilling relationship', 'If I were this sort of person, in this sort of situation, I would do this this this', 'I want to do x, y, z'. It's all the same thing, just different objects of desire. To live in imagination & yearning is often times easier than actually living it.

We go on creating excuses, 'I want to do x, but...*insert 'legit' reason here*'. We keep feeding ourselves the same old story as to why we can't live the way we want to, all along failing to realize that sometimes we are blocking our own path!

Sometimes those excuses can also manifest in the form of laziness, procrastination - I'll do it tomorrow. Yep, guilty as charged! Bahahahahahah!

Even when the perfect opportunity is right in front of us, just like a gift being handed over; we still retract our hands & again the same excuses which all amount to the fear of actually living out one's dreams.

Dafuq? Why would living one's dreams be scary???

Well for starters, it is not called a dream for nothing. Usually a dream is something or some-way that is completely different from what you are experiencing now. It is something out of your grasp, a brand new world so to say. Bottom line: it is beyond your comfort zone.

To go beyond one's comfort zone involves a lot of discomfort (no joke, Captain Obvious!).

Which also means a lot of risk.

Risk means there is a potential for failure.

Failure means loss (material or emotional).

Why would this fear of loss weigh so heavily on our minds?

First of all in today's society we've been conditioned to think that losing is a bad thing. Even in discussion there has to be a win-win situation, hahahahah...

Secondly, the more personal one - past experiences. When I say past experiences, I mean past experiences in which similar opportunities were taken up, but eventually did not work out the way we wanted them to; or, events/second hand experiences that indirectly affect our feelings towards certain things.

Dafuq is this woman talking about!

To simplify things, imagine a situation where you've had the dream of starting your own business. Suddenly, someone comes along & offers to help you to start up your company. But as a child, you witnessed your father's own company crumble to the ground, & how this subsequently affected your familial life.

Fear. It is a very paralyzing emotion. Not always one which is easy to overcome.

To get to the root of our fear, we need to identify the reason(s) & cause(s) behind them. Again, dig down deep. Remove those goddamn roots that have been & are blocking you from living the life you want.

Again - awareness. Never lose the awareness. Question. Question everything, even yourself. In fact, most importantly, yourself.

It is never about external situations or influences. It is what goes on inside that matters.

Even if your business or relationship flops, at least learn something from it, so that you can make better & more conscious choices in the future.

Why did I do the things I did?
What could I have done differently?
What can I do to change my thought & behavioural patterns?

See how this piece went from a seemingly superficial matter to a deeper one?
Things are not always as they seem, my loves. Things are not always as they seem. ;)

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