Heyo peoples! Couldn't really find the perfect song, but this one is good enough I think! Today's topic is - sharing!
A conversation involves speaking & listening. It takes a minimum of two people to participate in conversation. If there is no balance between speaking & listening, either party would eventually get bored. Doesn't matter if one enjoys speaking more, or the other enjoys listening more; when we talk about balance, I am talking about the balance that exists between those two people. Because what is considered balanced for some, could be considered unbalanced for others. Once again there are no hard & fast rules.
But back to our main purpose of today's topic. Once the other has removed their garbage, what else is there to do? Is he/she open to receiving your ideas or thoughts about the matter? Or are they just happy that they've found someone to talk to, & they've actually known in their hearts all along what they had to do to remedy their situation?
You see, human beings are a very very strange specie! & I think I've mentioned this numerous times, hahahahah! Especially us ladies - sometimes we just need to express our emotions. Deep down inside, we know what needs doing. Me myself I sometimes feel bad for doing this, because to others, especially men, it seems as though I'm wallowing in self-pity & refusing to jump off the pity wagon. But I've come to accept this as my nature. I try not to do it often but sometimes it just happens - so what? I refuse to beat myself up for being who & what I am, not anymore!
Sometimes though, I do need to hear the solutions spoken out loud to me. Or even new ideas that I've never ever thought of before. Like the mountain parable in the previous post, the function of communication is to share light. Communication connects us to one another, so that thoughts & ideas can be exchanged, & we can both move forward together. Without communication, nothing can be achieved.
Just one tiny thing though! The amount of electricity you deliver to your friend matters too! Too much & the light bulb might just blow up, too little & nothing will happen! So how you present your thoughts & ideas matters a whole lot too. Basically it is a matter of yin & yang. If the other is too enraged, or upset, obviously you can't raise your voice too, in hopes of making them shrink back into silent acceptance! This is what usually happens nowadays. People very rarely understand the need to keep quiet & listen, & provide gentle support.
The whole world has become manly, even the women. We are told to be go-getters, to be active achievers, everything has to be done now now now; people become control freaks, trying to control everything, even the feelings of others. Nobody really gives each other the space to grow & learn in their own time. Unsurety in another makes them anxious, maybe because they themselves do not know how to deal with their own unsureties (Is this even a legit word! Bahahahah!).
But that's besides the point.
My yoga teacher trainer, Deep, has always insisted that no one call him 'teacher'. & I could not understand this until earlier this year. I always called him Teacher Deep as a sign of respect. But he always said that he does not want to be called teacher because the word itself carries certain obligations & responsibilities. It is a burden to be regarded as a teacher. He just wants to be as he is, & all that goes on in the classroom is just a mere sharing between friends.
I slowly started to see his point of view & stopped calling him 'teacher'. At first it was weird but now being a yoga teacher myself I really see what he means by not wanting to be called 'teacher'! Hahahahahah!!! FML! :P :P :P
As he always says, when someone calls you 'teacher', they already have a certain image of you in their mind - you have to behave this way, not that; you have to do/say this, not that. & the higher the pedestal on which you place someone, the harder they fall! So if they see you doing something which is in their minds 'inappropriate', they start berating you. What a life to live, the life of a teacher!
I was thinking to myself, 'Oh my God, this person has passed on so much knowledge which has practically changed my life, & in return I'm putting this heavy burden on him???', bahahahahah do you see the madness of the whole situation, dear reader??? :P :P :P
When he gets up to his crazy shenanigans though, that comical voice inside my head still automatically goes, 'aiyoh, why my teacher like this ah? *shakes head*'...LMAO!
From then on I myself didn't want to be considered a teacher anymore either. To some it comes naturally, but to me no, I just want to live my life without having to worry about living up to anyone else's expectations.
I don't want to consider myself a healer either. It is more or less the same thing, & it creates an egotistical mindset when we think that we are the ones responsible for the healing of others. I feel that the healer-healed equation is always changing, it is a dynamic phenomena.
No, I'd like to think of my communication as a sharing rather than giving advice. Sometimes people take it the wrong way, but that's okey. I believe there is always a reason people cross paths, & I am just sharing what I know - if it helps them then it helps, if not then there's only so much I can do! I enjoy light philosophical banter & exchanges on views of life, especially when I get together with someone who challenges my beliefs. I may get a bit ruffled by this exchange but I enjoy it more than talk about fashion, the weather, & other shit. :P :P :P Even as an introvert I cannot deny the benefits of interaction between people. Those light bulb moments can be very addictive!
So yes, back to the topic - sharing. It doesn't mean you have to preach to the poor soul who has just bared his/her soul to you. I feel like it's often more than enough to just state your opinion/thoughts/feelings about the matter, while trying to convey the heart of your message, as best you can. It is up to them how to interpret it. & if they are open to discussing these ideas further, then by all means, do so!
Jnana Yoga - the yoga of enquiry. We all come together to discuss a certain subject. There is no right or wrong, we all come together, leaving ego & judgement at the door, to learn & share together. What is not clear to you, ask - & the other shall answer. Even if you don't agree with what the other has to say, let's discuss; we need not reach a consensus on the matter. Exchanging of knowledge to grow together. Often times what is discussed together doesn't really sink in until days or even months later, so there is no point really in striving to reach a consensus or finding out who is wrong or right! This is another one of the important things that Gurumukh-ji taught us. Just a pure sharing between friends.
Which is one of the reasons I gave up Instagram - it wasn't the right outlet for me with which to share my passions with. I am very fond of photography & all things artistic, but at the end of the day the medium that I am more comfortable with is the written word. & I was saying to Gobuyan about a week ago - most of the time it's not about wanting to help or share; instead it is something that deep within your heart you are bursting to do; you cannot hold it in anymore, you just do it regardless of the outcome. & so it is with my writing. I don't gain anything from this, other than the pure satisfaction & relief of having let off some steam (no nasty thoughts now!), although I am very sure something will pop up very soon!
Even then, I took two notebooks with me to Rishikesh, thinking to write about my experiences & thoughts every day, but I gave up after just about five pages, bahahahahahah...Michelle & Su Yen are going to kill me! I felt that writing on paper was slowing me down, I could not express as fast as I would like to. So much easier typing!
Truth be told, I became lazy to document my journey. :P :P :P I used to want to keep track of everything, especially photos - you know how people post 'before & after' photos of their asana progress on social media? & all sorts of fancy asana poses too! I tried to, but gave up after about two weeks, bahahahahah! For one, it was taking up too much of my time. Set up camera. Turn timer on. Do pose. Examine photo. Take another 230 photos. Choose one. Edit. Include smart ass caption. Post. Track number of likes. Dafuq! LMAO!
& I was initially afraid that I'd forget all the memories I'd created in Rishikesh. I wanted to write everything down, so that I could be able to re-live those memories in my writings. I wanted to hang on to each & every one of them. But I realized that that should not be the way. Gurumukh-ji said, once you eat your meal, you leave the plate. I may regret this one day, but meh, I'll still have the photos & when the rest of the group meet up we'll share our memories again & there'll be some things that I don't remember that they'll remember & we'll all have a good laugh!
Being in Rishikesh, having to socialize face to face & not having decent Internet access has defo brought out the writer's bug in me though! & it is sometimes tough to write because...I don't want to say, hahahahahahah...it's the great Tao of life that sometimes fucks me up, bahahahah! Those who understand it will understand my predicament! :P
I'm not here to be any Guru or Wise Woman - I once read this funny saying on Facebook which I really resonate with lately:
Just because I give a lot of advice doesn't mean I'm smarter than you - it just means I've done more stupid shit in my life!
Bahahahahah true that!
So please dear readers, don't think of me as a teacher or Smarty Pants. Enquiry is always the way to get to the bottom of things. Your opinions & views challenge my opinions & views, which in turn cause me to question my thoughts & beliefs. & if there is never any questioning to begin with, if I blindly go with what I have been taught since Day One, I would never be the person I am today. I would never grow or evolve. Jnana Yoga - I think I love it more than asana...ooops! :P :P :P
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-Albert Einstein -