It came as quite a shock, especially because two weeks before that, he had insisted that his family make the trip down to Singapore to celebrate his birthday with him.
It is easy to philosophize & talk about impermanence, de-attachment etc when we are not directly involved in a situation. The real test of our state of mind & beliefs is when things happen to us. Are we able to emotionally de-attach & look at the situation as it is?
Our time as human beings on this earth is limited. Essentially we are all just ships passing in the night. Even when we say 'forever', what does that really mean? 'Forever' is a term that is under-rated in our limited understanding.
Sometimes, I wonder - what are we actually mourning for? Are what we mourning for that person, or for ourselves? Are we sad because of a situation that we ourselves created in our minds?
When we remove our feelings from the equation - what is left?
I've come to realize that, instead of grieving, we should also celebrate a person's life. Yes, celebration can happen even after a person's passing! If you look at our time as human beings as just another level in a video game, you'll get what I mean.
Who ever said that we humans are immortal? We all have it in the backs of our minds that sooner or later, we will have to leave this body & this earth. Whether we return in another form is another matter lah... :P
So yeah, to me, a person's passing can be viewed as a 'level up'. This person has done what he has needed to do, learned what he has needed to learn, & experienced what he has needed to experience in this lifetime. He is ready to move on to other things. Is this not cause for celebration? Would it not be boring if we were all immortal? I mean, it is an interesting concept, but...really? If we all knew that we could eat & do whatever the hell we wanted to, if we knew that we could procrastinate on & on because time will never run out...we won't ever get anything done, there would be no reason to get excited when we wake up every morning!
When we put aside our own feelings, the what-ifs & should-haves - what if I had done this, I should have done that...& look past our own attachments towards this person...what is left?
Mostly we get upset because we miss them. Of course there will be an empty space where they once were. It may take a long time for that space to be filled again. Heck, there are chances that nothing else can replace that empty space. But there are many many things out there to be happy for. This may sound cheesy, but be happy that the both of you crossed paths, even for a short moment in time.
It is always an honour to cross paths with people. Indeed, with humans being gregarious beings, interacting with people is an inevitable thing in life. Time is all we really have to give, so it was a blessing when people cross paths. Be grateful for what you have learned from this person, for the experiences you both shared. These are unique to the both of you.
Deep always says, 'You never know, this may be the last dance!', & I believe that too. People always say that it is dangerous to work with horses. I think so too. But the truth of the matter is, you don't know when your time will be up. Your time can end just at any moment, in the blink of an eye.
& please, take care of each other. Even the ones who seem to be doing great all the time. Because sometimes those are the most 'dangerous' people. They have learnt to hide their sadness & troubles so well that we are sometimes incapable of detecting their true feelings.
Life is too damn short & unpredictable. Do whatever the hell you want to, while you still have time. There is no time for rubbish thoughts & actions. Everything can change in a blink of an eye. Cherish those who matter to you, treat everyone & everything with respect. Be aware of your mortality. Your
time as a human being is so limited, make the best of it.
I was not very close to my friend who passed on, if it came down to it I would regard us as just acquaintances. There was a time when I regularly tumpang-ed his car up & down the country to the races. He was a genuinely nice guy, very humble & always with a smile on his face regardless of his situation. Even his jokes & sarcasm, although could be considered offensive & lewd to some, were never said with ulterior motives, bad intentions or anything other than just a pure sharing of laughter.
You always used to sing this song in your own made-up language, because you didn't know the lyrics; hahahahah!
Thank you. See you on the other side.