Thursday, December 29, 2016

Nein, Mother Fucker, Nein!!!


Like, homaiphuckinggott!!!

She was my Woman Crush in Orange Is The New Black, & I would have gone lesbo for her!!! Dayum, son!!!

Poussey Washington, when asked 'What is love?'.

I can't imagine how it would be like to lose someone all of a sudden. I mean, yes, of course one can never know until one personally experiences something, but man, even the thought of it makes me feel like I've half lost my mind.

I guess that's one of the reasons I've never been good at goodbyes. You know, like, even the everyday 'bye, see you later' kind of goodbyes. The ones where you part ways, knowing at the back of your mind that you'll see them in a few hours' time. Or the ones before you hang up the phone.

Fair enough, some people hug when they meet & part, which in my opinion makes things slightly easier. Probably because I'm not always the best talker, & I defo believe that there are times when it is better to let energy do the talking.

But goodbyes over the phone though...wooo...that's one hurdle I have yet to jump over.

Like, what do you say before hanging up the phone..? Most of the things that we say are more often than not the typical echo-ed phrases:

'I miss you/Miss you too'
'I love you/Love you too'
'Take care/You too'

It feels a bit cliched, but at the same time, in a way, I'm afraid to say those words, even though I know it may be the last time I would ever get to say them. Sometimes I don't want to hang up, & the thought that this could be the last time I ever get to talk to that person paralyzes me, even in those few seconds. Maybe I'm too proud to say them. Or maybe...I take for granted that the other person already knows how much I care about them, & how much they matter to me.

Long story short, I don't do goodbyes well. & sometimes it is easier to put on the Funny Mask rather than get all sappy. May sound ridiculous, but I'm working on it.

Okey, I'm back to mourning the death of Poussey now. Oh good sweet Lord, WHY.

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