What does being present mean to you?
Does it mean focusing on what is in front of you, at any given moment?
But what if your heart is not in it?
Example. If your partner leaves the country for a few months, does your missing them & making an effort to create time for them via technology mean you are not living in the present moment? What then? Is it worth repressing these feelings to conform to your idea of 'being present'? Is being present only limited to the physical world?
I've always been one to express, even to a fault. But I still believe that it will always be a matter of priorities.
Being present in the moment, to me, means constantly asking myself, 'What do I want to do right now?', 'What does my heart say at this very moment?', AND keeping at the back of my mind the fact that whatever I choose to do now will carry with them consequences in the future.
So if you choose to concentrate on what's in front of you while your partner is out of town, don't be surprised if they return a different person, or do not return at all! :P
However, we're not going to concentrate on others, we're just going to limit the scope to ourselves. So it's not really a matter of 'oh if the other leaves, then he/she never really loved me in the first place'; you chose your actions, your partner's actions are just a by-product of those choices!
As humans there has been so much social conditioning going on, sometimes we even become blind to ourselves. Just because the guru says something, we go to great lengths trying to live according to their teaching, even when deep down we know that it is not our truth. Even if a particular teaching is the whole truth & nothing but the truth, to me it is tom-foolery to forgo my own truth which I am experiencing at my current level of consciousness.
'Should not', this can a very dangerous phrase to use. Because it implies that one is going against what one truly desires. Now I'm not saying that one should say, 'I should not rip this person's eyeballs out & fry them over a nice BBQ fire', & then feel bad for using the phrase 'should not' because they truly desire to rip that person's eyeballs out & fry them over a nice BBQ fire; but you know what I mean, don't you?
'I should not be feeling this way.'
I think this is one of the most dangerous 'should nots' around. Hahahahah..! By saying 'should not', we are not giving ourselves permission to feel a certain way. Especially when it comes to love. & then we go to great lengths trying to suppress this feeling - for what?
At the same time, like I said it is also a matter of priorities. Where is your heart more invested? At the end of the day, these are the only things that matter. Because you have no control over the actions of others, only of your own. & only you will have to live with the consequences of your actions. Even if for example in movies there's this guy who jumps off a bridge & his partner spends the rest of her life mourning his death, it's her bloody choice to mourn, she's not at all obligated by some God-force to live miserably!
Again, in choosing your priorities, do not be afraid of the consequences. You will always have to let go of something in order to gain something else. & I do believe it is sometimes possible to have your cake & eat it, but only in certain situations.
One can go on creating excuses & stirring up problems that never existed, in order to escape their true feelings. Maybe it is because of the fear of losing something else that they consider more important to them. Maybe it is the fear of the strength of that feeling itself.