Friday, July 8, 2016

Want To Be Friends With Benefits?

Today's obsession: Rachel Platten - Better Place.

It's long holidays for us Malaysians now, & much to my introverted horror, I found myself actively seeking human companionship to fill up the days.

Holy cow! I know, right!!!

Usually, I would have no qualms about staying home alone without any plans. But somehow, this time the thought bored me & even made me slightly anxious too. Am I turning into a bloody extrovert??? *horror face*

Not that I have anything against extroverts. Either I'm becoming one of them, or I am seriously avoiding myself & my inner shit.

Meh. Anyways. It got me thinking, 'why?'

What was it that changed?

Well, for one, I've come to love connecting with people who are passionate about life, & what they are interested in. In other words, the 'juicy' people. Read more about what makes a person 'juicy' in my previous post: Anything Less Than 'Juicy' Just Will Not Do!

But that's besides today's point.

I've recently met many people who are passionate about different things. & I absofuckinglutely love watching & listening to them talk about their passions in life. Hooo, boy; I could live for those moments! The way their eyes light up, their smiles become brighter, their gestures more animated or expressive - to me, that is one of the most beautiful things in life.

Friends with benefits - it ain't always limited to benefits in the sexual sense. You nasty peoples, you! Hahahahah! Get out of your caveman/woman thinking & share your passions for life once in a while, for God's sake!

In the past year, I made it a point to compliment people. As a noob yoga teacher, I was always worried what others would think about me. & of course, I got my fair share of critics too. It was a very difficult thing to learn to do, accept criticism, which could be pretty damn harsh at times. & more often than not, people will not hesitate to voice out their disapproval or dissatisfaction.

& although I acknowledge that it is these critics who helped me improve myself, those who made an effort to actually approach me with good feedback were the ones who positively encouraged me along my way.

Think about it. Just say for example in a restaurant, how often do customers complain about the food, & how often do they send their compliments to the chef? Usually, if the food is good, they'd probably just comment on it amongst themselves, nod in agreement, & that's that.

Somehow, we don't find it necessary to give praise, but seldom hesitate to condemn others.

I have found that people find it hard to give & receive compliments. Heck, I myself got a surprise just yesterday when my dinner victim partner of the day suddenly said that my dress looked nice on me, plus a bunch of other sweet things. On hindsight, I noticed that I couldn't just say, 'thank you'. Instead I went on autopilot & went on & on about how it's a new dress & sales & blah blah blah. Like, dafuq, why would I even do that!

Similarly, most of the time, the same goes for the other party when I tell them the things I find positive about them. They either try to downplay these qualities or outright reject them.

I kind of understand now, why men dislike women whining about how they look, when to the men, they look perfectly great!

It can be annoying when someone refuses to or can't acknowledge their own beauty, be it physical or internal. I guess, in a way it makes me feel like the other person is doubting my sense of judgement. Like, if I say, 'you're awesome', & they give a whole bunch of reasons why they aren't, somewhere deep within me says, 'why don't you trust my judgement on what is awesome & what is not awesome?'

One of my favourite quotes by Hafiz:

This quote toootally encompasses how I feel sometimes. It's like, dude, you're so awesome, how do I make you see yourself through my eyes, so you can see & appreciate your own awesomeness?

The one thing that hasn't changed about me is that I still enjoy listening more than talking. I don't mind mostly nodding frantically, laughing to the other's jokes or just chipping into the conversation every once in a while. However, after talking for some time, the other sometimes apologizes for being overly enthusiastic about their interests. Homaigot, WHYYY.

These are the rules for us being friends with benefits:

1. Please don't apologize for talking at length about your passions. Although I may not share the same interests as you, I thoroughly enjoy learning a little about them & why they make you happy. If it matters to you, it matters to me too.

2. Please don't play small when I point out a positive quality in you. It is this quality that inspires & motivates me to better myself in that same aspect. Again, just being completely immersed in whatever makes you happy is more than enough to make me feel excited too. Maybe not necessarily in exactly the same way though; for example if you love tennis & are training hard to improve your game, you are inspiring me to step up my yoga game. Main theme: fitness. Get it? The energy behind your passion is thoroughly contagious; & this is one virus I wouldn't mind catching, bahahahahah!

3. After you've gotten yours, return the favour! ;) (Sorry, just couldn't resist, bahahahahah!)

Also, remember to spread the love! We all need a little bit of encouragement every once in a while. It could even be a random compliment to a stranger. But what I mean is, see the beauty in another, but also make an effort to tell them about it. I know, it sounds bloody scary! What if the other thinks you're a freak or some shiz...hahahah...but trust me, the risk of being vulnerable is worth it. A tiny gesture can sometimes make a person's day.

The world has enough haters. She needs more lovers of all sorts. Spread the happy loving vibes, & let's be friends with benefits! ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment