Yoga Is About The Self, Yet It Is Also About Others.

This week's topic concerns a wide range of topics which revolve around two main topics: environmental sustainability & animal welfare.

2015 was a very life-changing year. I would largely attribute it to the influence of my Feveret Human, who is much more knowledgeable than me when it comes to current issues of the world.

The very first documentary I watched was Earthlings.

Yesterday Feveret Human & I watched Cowspiracy.

Please make time to watch these two documentaries, or any other documentary that catches your fancy. I promise you, life will never be the same again. Go to YouTube & type search for Gary Yourofsky. He is an animal activist & gives pretty damn good talks on veganism & animal welfare.

Or click here: Best Speech You'll Ever Hear - Gary Yourofsky.

Now don't get me wrong. I used to eat meat too. In fact I still crave the taste of meat more often than not. Yet I choose to abstain from it after coming to terms with the truth. & I too got very annoyed & irritated when people 'forced' these truths on me. I chose to be continue being comfortable by turning a blind eye to what really goes on in & around the meat industry.

I had never watched an in-depth documentary prior to Earthlings. I am usually the kind of person who avoids gory links & videos that people share on social media. Even if the thumbnail or description is eww-wy, I completely avoid it. So I don't know what came over me, or how I found out about the documentary; I just randomly thought to watch it one night.

& man did it disturb me. I cried most of the time. & it stunned me into really accepting the fact that I was just lying to myself all this time. Throughout my life I always thought myself & my family as animal lovers. Yet all of us consumed meat. Vegetarianism was not given a thought, it was just something that other people do. & there were many people around me who loved animals, yet could not bear to watch videos/photos of animal abuse, accidents, not even wildlife documentaries where a natural predator kills its prey; let alone a documentary about the process of how animals are turned into our food. So I myself avoided these issues. Like I said earlier - I was comfortable lying to myself.

& I think I am lucky in the sense that I watched Earthlings first, then Cowspiracy. Earthlings shocked me into awareness, it showed me what really goes on in the meat industry. Whereas Cowspiracy approaches the topic in a calmer & more logical way. I really liked how the main idea of Cowspiracy is about individual responsibility: 'What am I doing to contribute to this problem?', 'What can I do to make a change?' A few weeks ago Feveret Human & I watched another documentary, The Age of Stupid. It was a brilliant documentary. The only thing I did not really like about it is that it tries to address the problem with external solutions - what biotechnology, what science can do.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to our greed. It is human nature to always want more. & nature is generous, but even her generosity has its limits. So we can research & advance all we want, but if our greed & selfishness is not addressed, everything else is for naught.

It takes so much more vegetation to 'grow' meat for human consumption. Ironically a high percentage of crops are going into feeding animals rather than feeding humans. Not to mention the consumption of water & other resources.

At the same time, have you ever wondered about the by-products of the meat industry? Where does all that waste & faecal matter go to?

& what about the animals themselves? Is it enough to allow them 'natural lives' when at the end of the day we are going to kill them anyway? What kind of freedom is that? & how can one say, 'I love dogs & cats,' so they don't eat those species of animals, but then cows, pigs & chicken are 'made to be eaten'???

I am also hugely thankful to my cat Karas for helping me realize the need for me to go vegan.

Even if it was not for matters of the world (which are indeed very pressing matters & need to be dealt with immediately for the collective good), compassion & kindness were lost when I chose to eat meat. I was allowing animals to be treated badly. I was allowing animals to be denied their freedom & right to life.

I used to be outraged at news of dog or cat meat being sold in certain countries. But it did not disturb me watching hundreds of cows & chickens being farmed & butchered in the market. Funny how the human mind works, huh?

How does one decide which life matters more than the other???

I chose to cover this topic today because yoga is about self, yes - Patanjali's Yoga Sutras are all about the self. He always addresses the inner, never the outer. But you see, once the inside is pure, everything else falls into place. The principle of Ahimsa (Non-violence) is pretty much self-explanatory.

Similarly, in Matthew 7:12 of the Bible: So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

Is my own selfishness harming others? Why am I eating meat - to satisfy my tastebuds? Why do I use products made out of animal by-products? Because it's more 'classy'?

To awaken is a painful process. But it is even worse to choose to remain asleep.

A Case of Me-Me-Me-itis.

It's been a rough week for me. Apart from writing work and teaching, a lot of other things have popped up along the way.

I guess when we go off track, sometimes the Universe gives us a little tap on the shoulder like, 'Hey you! Get yo ass back on track!' :P

So yeah, although I have been doing what I need to, it hasn't really been full speed ahead. It's just the bare minimum, sometimes even less. I have to say though, out of the seven deadly sins, sloth ranks the highest in my list - I am a professional slacker at the best of times!

I really enjoy philosophy and its components. But unfortunately that doesn't pay the bills (for now). & I believe I can contribute more than just 'falsampah' to the world; but I just need to put in a bit more effort to refine my skill sets.

I want to be around genuine people who say what they mean & mean what they say. I don't really give a shit if you're wearing the latest fashion, nor if you have the latest gadget (although a neat camera would be really cool, heheh). I don't want to be around people who only want to hang around me for the materialistic things I have to offer. I don't like being obliged into giving gifts or having to conform to certain social conditionings. If you want to hang out with me, then I would like it to be because you enjoy my company, & nothing more.

One of the highlights of my week was meeting this Swedish lady (Whom my mother met through backpacking/hitch-hiking - don't ask me who the hitch-hiker/hikee was though!) who is staying over at my grandparent's place. I really enjoyed listening to her stories about her life back in Sweden. She is in her 70s, & does painting, sculpting & makes jewellery! She & her husband have a big-ass garden where they grow all kinds of flowers & make tiny flag labels for them so it's like 'a botanical garden'; they even grow strawberries & mulberries which they harvest to make jam! & they go skinny-dipping in the ocean! Is that the life or what???

& now she's travelling solo in Malaysia, after which she will head to Thailand, then to India! WTF! I'm 30 & I've never travelled solo to another continent!

So yeah, these past few days the Universe has been nudging me to put pedal to the metal. It wasn't always a pleasant experience - so many things happened to show me what I do not want in my life. Yet this meeting with this one person reminded me of what I do want in life - about the possibilities that the world & life itself has to offer.

At the same time, the people who I need have been coming into my life. When I was contemplating doing Yoga Teacher Training, among a hundred other questions, I asked myself, 'What would I want to do with this knowledge?' & the answer was, 'To help people.' Somehow over time I got sucked into the whole 'commercialized' aspect of yoga. I was too caught up with the glamourized version of yoga - looking good in poses, taking yoga selfies, being able to do this/that pose, the latest yoga fashion, etc.

Slowly but surely people have started coming to me with various physical issues. & I am glad to report that sometimes I don't even know about their issues until after they are cured & they come up to me & say things like, 'I used to have bad menstrual pain but after attending your classes, it's disappeared.' It really does make my day (or even week!) when I get such feedback from my students. It makes me understand why I need to learn more & deepen my knowledge. I am thankful for all my students. They are the ones who play a big role in my satisfaction as a teacher. To be a leader, one must be ready to serve. & what I have acquired, all I have learned, goes to my students & those who need it.

I'm sorry if today's post has not been as philosophical or positive as expected. I'm just keeping it real.

Remember: the Universe (or God, or angels, or whatever you want to call it) is always sending you messages. Make sure you are open enough to receive those messages. Sometimes it may be a small tap on the shoulder. If the message is important & you don't acknowledge that tap, it becomes a smack on the back of the head. If that smack doesn't get your brains working, then I don't know, maybe a whole box of Post-It notes will be thrown in your direction!

Accept Yourself In Your Totality!

So, the human mind finds it very difficult to accept any moment in totality, or to accept the rising of one's Self in totality. There is always a duality, so...in this moment I accept the feeling of love, but when the feeling of hate arises in me, I reject it. In another moment, I accept the feeling of joy, but when the feeling of sorrow arises in me, I reject it.

- Lalla The Buddha -

Have you ever noticed this in yourself?

We always hear the masters saying, 'Do not attach to anything.' But do you understand the depth of this statement?

Once, a travelling monk reached the palace of a king who was well-known for his indulgences, yet also known to be a wise man. The monk was granted permission to stay within the palace walls for a few days. One day, the king invited the monk to accompany him to the river. As they were bathing in the river, the monk saw smoke in the distance, & in a flurry rushed out of the river to put on his clothes.

The king asked him, 'What's the matter?'

'Can't you see! Your palace is on fire! & my clothes are in there!'

At which point the king started laughing, 'My dear friend, I am a king. & my whole palace is going down in fire, everything I own is in there, even my family. Yet I am still relaxed. & you? You are worried about your few pieces of clothes!?!'

Dear friends, being unattached does not mean we have to own nothing. It does not mean that we must doom ourselves to live lives of paupers. No! You can damn well own a Ferrari, if your heart so pleases. You can damn well have a large collection of watches, if it is within your means. & you can damn well have a huge bank account, if your passion rakes in the monies.

But it does mean that you do not allow anything to own you.

The question is: How gracefully are you able to let go?

Similarly with human emotions. We become so attached to the 'positive' emotions that we become repelled by the thought of experiencing 'negative' emotions! & then, ironically, attachment also forms towards the avoidance of 'negative' emotions, bahahahahah does that make sense?

So how can we fully accept ourselves in our totality, if we choose to acknowledge one aspect of ourselves & not the other? In the first place, how can good exist if there is no bad? How can light exist without darkness? How can big exist without small? Neither ceases to exist without the other! So how can you be 'good' if there is no 'bad' within you? :P

I really love Huffington Post article on transforming anger according to Osho.

'In controlling you repress, in transforming you express (...) Sensitivity grows with awareness. Through control you become dull & dead. That is part of the mechanism of control: if you are dull & dead, then nothing will affect you, as if the body has become a citadel; a defense. Nothing will affect you, neither insult nor love.'

When certain feelings arise within you, do not fight them. Have an internal conversation with yourself:

'I am feeling *insert emotion here*.'
'Why am I feeling this way?'
'What did/did I not do to cause this?'
'Why am I responding this way?'
What do I need to do to express this emotion, without harming others?'

You get the gist of it.

The main idea is to not ignore, repress or avoid any emotion. In fact, I would say enjoy them! Go deep to the source! & if you are aware enough, completely immerse yourself in them! When you are happy - jump for joy, laugh out loud; when you are angry, get good & angry - beat your pillow, bury your face into it & scream & shout, go for a jog; anything as long as you do not hurt another.

& when you are fully open to the very human-ness of your being, you can fully embrace & love yourself. & guess what happens when you fully accept yourself? You are able to accept & love others in their totality too.

Every Moment Is THE Moment.

Happy New Year, everybody!

As far back as I can remember, I've never been one to celebrate new year's. I can just vaguely recall one or two countdowns in crowded nightclubs & struggling in a sea of people to watch fireworks.

Sounds like quite a nightmare to all you introverts out there, huh?

When I was wayyy younger, the most I would do was watch the countdown on the telly (this was before the dawn of Internet & even computers, mind you!), & the national parade or whatever was airing the next day. Then it shifted to just doing my own thing & listening to the boom of the fireworks when the clock struck twelve.

& every time I wondered, 'Is there something wrong with me?'

I thought myself strange, because everyone makes such a big deal out of it, & just like Valentine's Day or any other major 'holiday', the general idea was that if you spend any of these days alone, you are a loser.

'But, I don't enjoy getting up close & personal with thousands of sweaty strangers!'

When I first moved to KL, I realized that I had accepted the fact that I was actually okey spending every New Year's eve in the comfort of my own room, not doing anything extraordinary. In fact, come to think of it, when I moved here it was the 30th of December & I recall the feeling of utter bliss being in my room hearing the loud booms of the fireworks outside.

I don't quite understand the hype around New Year's eve. No, actually I do; it just doesn't excite me very much. I feel that every day is a New Year's eve. Today, it's been one year since the last 1st January, right? & two days from now it will also be a year since last 3rd of January, right? So would that not also be a 'new year', technically speaking?

What I do appreciate about the hype is that many people will take some time to reflect & show appreciation towards everything in the past year, & make 'resolutions' (whether these are kept or not is another matter!) for the new one.

I believe that it is important for everybody to see the magic of new beginnings. & when I say new beginnings, I also mean second chances, fresh opportunities, new starts.

& now I get why I don't get hyped up about New Year's. It's because I find it strange to wait for a man-made date to approach before doing what one wants to do. Every moment is the moment to change, each day brings with it boundless opportunities, why wait 365 days???

Anyway. I will take this opportunity to recap how my year went! *excited-ness!*

2015 has been by far one of the most interesting years of my life so far. I finally had the guts to quit my day job to teach yoga full-time. By the grace of God, my long-time dream of travelling to India came true, & of all places, to the holy city of Rishikesh! & for a whole month! Wow!

This is easily the first time ever I've made so many wonderful new friends in one year. & I am also thankful for old friends who have supported me through the ups & downs of life - sometimes we may not even talk regularly, we may not even be up to date with the other's latest happenings, but those who have been there for me during rough times will always have a special place in my heart. I know I can come across as very dramatic sometimes, & I thank them all for bearing with me! Hahahahah!

Same goes for my family. I always feel blessed because I was/am always allowed the freedom to do whatever the hell I want to (within reasonable limits, of course!). I feel that acceptance & freedom is one of the best things a person can give, & I am thankful that when I emerged from my mother's womb, my parentals did not proclaim, 'My little engineer!'... :P

It's been a year full of great ups & downs. But all's well that ends well. Here's to 2016!

Magic Therapy Ball - Now I'm A Believer!

Magic therapy balls? Dafuq!?!

This was what went through my mind the first time I came to know about this brand spanking-new therapeutic approach to health & wellness. Plus, true to the perverted mind of yours truly here, the mere mention of the word 'balls' invokes an internal snigger...so imagine having the word 'magic' added to it! Hahahahahah!

At that time I was newly initiated into the Kuala Lumpur yoga scene, & was secretly proud to label myself a 'yoga prude'. To me, yoga was nothing short of a God-send & everything else was not worth the doing.

How wrong I was! Bahahahah!

There has always been a strong following of 'Magic Ball-ers' - at any of Zhen's or Deep's workshops or classes there will definitely be a handful of them happily using these balls on their limbs! & when I substitute at Zhen's classes, there will always be someone who asks, 'Today using magic ball ah?', hahahahahah! I thought to myself, there must be something really special about these strange balls, even if I can't see it for myself!

Magic Therapy Balls work based on the principles of acupressure & the Chinese Meridian Points. In layman terms, it's sort of like foot reflexology, where for example if pressure is applied on your second toe, your sinuses will benefit. Similarly, if even a small amount of pressure hurts like hell, it means your sinuses are out of whack!

Which is true!

I've always been one to avoid those reflexology foot paths that are popular at recreational parks. It hurt like hell! & I never could understand how some people could just easily walk, or even run across such torture devices! Nevermind walking on water, walking on a reflexology foot path seemed miraculous enough to me!

There was a time when my eyes turned red for a few days. Surprisingly, the redness would often disappear when I was awake, yet return when I went to sleep or lay down, even for a few minutes. One day at one of the workshops, I told Zhen about this & she just said simply, 'Your eyes are tired,' & immediately brought a knuckle to the back of my ear & I let out a loud, 'GAAAHHH!!!' Bahahahahahah! It did not immediately clear up my problem (which actually turned out to be conjunctivitis), but it did make sense in the following days when I found out that the area behind the ears are also meridian points for acne & pimples, because I'd been struggling with these for some time.

The second time I came into contact with this therapy was during our trip to Rishikesh, India. One day, they organized a day trip up the mountains - more than half a day going up & down the mountains! For the carsick-prone person like me, it was a death sentence! Hahahahah! Yet I did not want to miss out on the experience! So there I was, at the front row of the van, looking straight ahead, focusing on my breathing, calming my mind; yet at one of our stops I almost succumbed to the nauseating sensation, so I had to sit down for a while. I felt bad for making the others wait, so I was trying my bestest to get better soon. Zhen came & massaged the point between my thumb & index finger. It was not an unbearable pain, just a slightly uncomfortable one. After about one minute, I was good to go! If that ain't miraculous, I don't know what is!

Upon returning to Malaysia, I immediately signed up for a Magic Therapy Ball Workshop. Throughout the day, everything was explained to us in detail, & we had the chance to experience the effects of the spiky balls on different parts of the body. Surprisingly, it was not as torturous as I thought it would be. The total opposite, in fact! There were some parts where it was so soothing that I fell asleep, or even if I did not fall asleep, my body & mind were so relaxed that I wished there were a 'snooze' button for the instructions to change positions: 'Five more minutes, just five more minutes...', bahahahahahah!

Even the parts which were painful were not dreadful. The atmosphere of the whole workshop was light & playful. The other participants were friendly & even we often laughed together at our pain, because it made sense to us, our physical issues always corresponded with whichever meridian point was hurting! We also worked according to our current abilities - if a certain position was too much to bear, we would either be given a lighter variation, or told to reduce pressure. Similarly to yoga, we always work within that space of comfortable discomfort...does that make sense?

 'Teacher, you got use deodorant or not woh, today?' :P

Zhen's method of delivery is always humble & sincere, with a very strong intention to heal others. If you approach her with an issue, in a mere nanosecond, you can almost hear the inner mechanisms of her mind turning & grinding as she figures out what can be done. & her answers are always clear, precise, & to the point. There is no beating around the bush with this woman!

& her methods work. They always do, as long as you have the perseverance to practice & do it daily.

When all is said & done, a helping hand can be found at the end of one's own arm. If you want to be healed, you will have to take the necessary steps towards healing by yourself. & with knowledge of Zhen's Magic Therapy Balls & their application, you will be well equipped to heal yourself & those around you!

'Magic Balls'...bahahahahahah! :P :P :P

What I Resist, Persists.

Spiritual people can be some of the most violent people you will ever meet. Mostly, they are violent to themselves. They violently try to control their minds, their emotions, & their bodies. They become upset with themselves & beat themselves up for not rising up to the conditioned mind's idea of what it believes enlightenment to be. No one ever became free through such violence. Why is it that so few people are truly free? Because they try to conform to ideas, concepts & beliefs in their heads. They try to concentrate their way to heaven. But freedom is about a natural state, the spontaneous & un-self-conscious expression of beingness.

If you want to find it, see that the very idea of 'a someone who is in control' is a concept created by the mind. Take a step backward into the unknown.

- Adyashanti -

This paragraph had been sitting in my phone for a good few weeks now. I love it when people put words to my thoughts. I like having 'Oh my God, yes!' moments! :)

Sometimes I have students who ask me, 'Do I have to be vegetarian to be a yogi?', 'Do I have to do x amount of yoga every day?', 'Do I have to do this & not do that?'

These questions are often accompanied by feelings of guilt, remorse or embarrassment, as though they've committed some grave sin against themselves & humanity.

Does the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' ring a bell? :P

This is one of the problems of knowing too much - one begins to over-think, wondering should I do this, should I do that? Before we did not hold any prejudices towards certain things, now we are being told that this is good, that is bad; & we start to question our actions; whereas before we just did whatever the hell we felt like doing!

Take for example, the hours of Brahmamuhurta, which is between the hours of 4 - 6am. It is said that this is the best time for asana & meditation practice. As we start going deeper into yoga, our minds start questioning, 'I do not practice during the Brahmamuhurta, does that mean I am a bad yogi? Do I have to observe Brahmamuhurta to advance in my physical & spiritual practices?'

Now, this is all well & good. Questioning & challenging one's thoughts & beliefs is always good, because in that same space, there is room for growth & evolution.

The problem starts when one is not a morning person. Or one's lifestyle or social obligations prevent one from rising early. Then the epic Heart VS Mind battle begins again!

You set the alarm for 4am, only to snooze it 5 times before completely turning it off & going back to sleep. Then when you actually wake up at 8am you feel guilty for not being disciplined enough to wake up earlier! Why to put yourself through such hardship? It would be good enough if you did your practice, regardless of the time, no?

So is not ignorance bliss?

Before this, everything was fine & chicken tasted good & the world went on spinning as it does. But now, even the simplest of things makes us disturbed! How to be happy & present in the moment?

I am not condoning the consumption of meat. What I am trying to portray here is that we need to stay true to ourselves, at any given moment in time; & not force ourselves to live up to some image we have of ourselves in our minds.

'Buddha sat under a tree for 40 days to gain enlightenment. I should start a regular meditation practice too........but I really want to go play football right now!'

'I should not be so attached to my spouse, yet I find it makes me very sad to actively deattach myself from them!'

'The best time for asana practice is between 4 - 6am, but damnit I can't for the life of me wake up at that God-forsaken hour!'

Why to torture ourselves with the burden of what we think is right? Something could be right for a few, yet wrong for others; regardless of how much scientific study has been done to confirm the benefits of a certain thing, if it is not for us, why force ourselves to go against our true selves?

It is good to aspire to better ourselves. But it is also too much to forgo our present selves for our future selves! At the same time, this is a very grey area we are talking about. Decisions are always a very personal matter, & not everyone is always ready to change their habits & do whatever the hell is supposedly 'good'. I don't mean that if you like strangling people, you can continue on with your habit, but you of course take steps to changing yourself, right?

Habits are very difficult to change, especially life-long ones. So don't be too hard on yourself! Not everyone is capable of going cold turkey; the key is to take baby steps towards your goal. Slowly but surely, you will reach it! Keep persevering!

That being said, our thoughts are energies. Even when we are thinking about something we don't want, we are feeding it energy. Therefore, the more you think about 'not wanting' something, you are in fact doing the very opposite of what you actually intend to do - you are feeding this resistance in you! Have you ever observed yourself? The more you focus on something, the more it disturbs & lingers in your mind. If you just accept the fact of the matter & be like, 'okey lah'...it goes away ridiculously easily, doesn't it?

So don't feel bad about yourself! We are all trying our best here, & there is no right or wrong!

Above all, remember to be happy! Live every moment of your life without guilt! Spirituality is a very personal thing, & there are no hard & fast rules to it. To enjoy each moment as they come, that is the goal! Happy practising, everybody! :)

Plan The Party Of Your Life, & I Will Bring The Cake!

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. & guess what they have planned for you? Not much.

- Jim Rohn -

Recently this question was brought to my attention: 'What do you have planned for me?'

It took my Pentium 1 brain a few extra seconds to process it. It was somewhat shocking, because more often than not, I find it is an ongoing internal battle to stop myself from creating ideas about what/how someone is; so I don't really plan for other people nowadays.

Not too long ago, I was someone who had certain ideals of another, & try my very best to 'help' them into becoming what I thought was 'the best version of themselves'. & boy did I try, even at the expense of my own well-being!

We can all agree that we each have our own purpose in life, yes? Even not having a purpose is a purpose - does that make sense? & who is to know, what another's purpose is? Shit, I don't even know what my purpose in life is, how the hell am I supposed to know what your purpose is??? & who am I to fit you into my idea of what you're supposed to be???

Recently I've become an even bigger fan of 'listening to oneself' as well as 'accepting others as they are'.

When we really appreciate the importance of listening to one's self, we can also begin to accept when others listen to themselves instead of us. We give them space to grow in their own time & at their own pace. We drop any preconceptions about them. Heck, sometimes we even drop what we do know about them.

You see, every human being essentially has free will. So this also means that he/she has the liberty to choose what she/he wants, regardless of what we think about the matter.

So, back to the main topic. I think this 'planning' thing happens (& often goes wrong) especially in the parent-child relationship. Especially in certain parts of the world where the parents decide the career path of their child the moment the poor child is born! :P

It's like the child comes whoosh out of the womb, & the parents cradle the tiny infant in their arms, 'My little doctor/lawyer/*insert career of choice here*!'...which is absolutely ridiculous!

What if the child grew up & wanted to be a farmer, an artist, heck what if he/she wanted to be something other than what the parent had planned for them?

'Son, by so-&-so year, you will graduate from high school with flying colours. Then you'll enter so-&-so college, graduate & do your internship with Company X, then go on to work for them for twenty & a half years before you start up your own company.'

'Dad, I want to drive a school bus when I grow up.'

Bahahahahah! How do you expect someone else to totally comply with what you have planned for them???

So...what do I have planned for you?

I do not have anything planned for you. You are a free, unique individual; & the greatest gift I can give to you is the space that we share, with as little restriction as possible.

I do not have anything planned for you. But I will support you in all your endeavours, whatever they may be.

I do have something planned for you. I am striving to be the best human I can be, so that I will not be a burden to you. So that you can do your thing, without having to worry about me.

I do have something planned for you. I plan to be present in every interaction I have with you. I plan to not hold you up to the sometimes false ideals I have about you. I plan to share that space with you when you are finally doing something you've always wanted to do & you say, 'Hell yeah, this is it!'

& this applies to everyone else too.

My precious friends & family, I want you all to have the freedom to be yourselves, to be comfortable enough to be 120% real around me. & I will support your dreams & goals, whatever they may be. As long as you are not hurting yourself, anyone or anything else.

I may see greatness in you, but that is my own interpretation of the person you are. It is up to you to determine what you want to do in this lifetime. You do not have to live up my ideals of what kind of person you can be.

We can also liken life to a party. So you're going to host the party of your life, & of course it would make things a whole lot easier for you if I did not get drunk, argue with the other guests, & wreck your house, right? It would, however, be helpful & add to the enjoyment of all if I brought cake, lent a hand in the kitchen, & basically not make a nuisance of myself!

So, plan that gotdang party already! I'd probably cause more trouble than anything in the kitchen, but I enjoy doing the dishes & cleaning up! 'Will do the dishes & clean up in exchange for food!' Bahahahahah!

It Is More Than Okey To Not Recover From Savasana. In Fact, It Is Fantastic!

This week I unlocked an achievement - having the most number of people who did not recover from Savasana! Bahahahahah! It was very surprising, considering there was music blaring its lungs out from outside the studio!

I am only now, as I am writing this, realizing that what I intended to talk about today was already covered last week! Dafuq! Change plan, change plan!

As a yoga teacher, I believe in creating a space where everyone can tune into their inner selves & freely express themselves in a healthy way, without fear of being judged, & without the burden of judging others either!  So I would definitely take it as a very big compliment if someone fell asleep in my class! Of course, ideally one is not supposed to fall asleep during Savasana, but how not to, when we are leading such hectic lives in today's modern age? & one of the reasons we come to yoga is to relax, so how not to fall asleep when we are relaxed??? :P

I never had trouble falling asleep - in fact, I think I sleep more than the average person...bahahahahah! When I told Gobuyan I wanted to be the Namaste Otter, he hinted at my spirit animal being a sloth. Meh. Can't really argue with that! All this changed, however, when I had hyperthyroidism a few years back. Before I got diagnosed, I started feeling jittery, nervous & anxious all the time, & during the nights, I could not for the life of me go to sleep. I would lie awake in bed for God-knows how long, tired yet heart palpitating & simply laying there in limbo between the Real World & Lalaland. It had a spiral effect: no sleep = tired = still can't gotdang sleep = more tired-er = bloody hell someone punch me unconscious already! = walking zombie! It was only then that I appreciated the ability to fall asleep. It also really had me experience the phenomenon of how one's emotions & physical body inter-relate.

Basically, hyperthyroidism causes the body to be in a hyped up state all the time, hence the heart palpitations & nervousness etc. This means that the 'off' button was broken, so even when it was time to wind down & relax, I could not, because my hormones wouldn't allow me to! So when the mind & body is not relaxed, how to sleep woh? :(

Thank God I made a full recovery. Yay! & besides that, my hyperthyroidism was the thing that brought me to yoga, so double yay! *confetti in the air!*


I also totally believe in the phenomena of 'sleep debt' - when we do not allocate enough time for sleep during the week, we have to 'pay off' our sleep debt over the weekend by sleeping in or having siestas.

I myself experienced this when I attended the 10-day Vipassana meditation course in Pahang earlier this year. During the first three days, it was a real struggle to stay awake. & I noticed many other students nodding off in the hall too. This was kind of surprising, as I've always considered myself lucky enough to have never held a nine to five job, therefore I never had to struggle with the stresses of common city folk. My job at the horse stables was easy, & considerably short hours, on top of that we worked odd hours, so rush hour traffic was never an issue.

Nevertheless, I still had sleep debt to pay off! However, after I'd paid off my debts, it was impossible to fall asleep during the day, even for a die-hard siesta fan like myself! So I would take walks round the compound, wash clothes (even including the ones which didn't really need washing!), anything to burn off some energy! Hahahahah! Makes me wonder if life back in the day was really that simple!

Looking back, I realize that gadgets, books, & other distractions are also things that can cause sleep debt! It's like, we voluntarily force ourselves to stay awake to 'layan' these things, at the expense of our rest time! Geez! Guilty as charged!

Yes, I am guilty of being too attached to my phone, especially since The Other Half lives in it. It was actually nice to have this 'tech detox' & period of enforced rest - not only from the world & its people but also from my environment. It really showed me how distracted I really am - before Vipassana I was already aware of how uncomfortable I can sometimes get when I have nothing to do - have you ever noticed how fidgety your mind can get, even when eating? Most of the time I can't eat my meal in solitary silence - I am either watching something on YouTube or reading an article!

So, other than learning the Vipassana technique, it was amazing to have those few days all to myself, although half of it was spent thinking about the outside world. :P *smack on the wrist!* Bad meditator! Bad! Bahahahahah!

It made me realize the value of doing nothing. Which, I was already doing from a long time ago, but at the same time, my 'nothing' was just an 'unproductive something' rather than a complete 'nothing'. Make sense?

To really spend time with yourself, getting to know yourself, without any expectations, any distractions, any obligations...how absolutely wonderful!

I prefer not to talk much in my classes, other than giving alignment cues & mentioning quickly the benefits of the poses. & especially in my Yin yoga classes, I like to emphasis at the beginning of the class that my students take the one hour of class to really come back to themselves. 24 hours, 7 days a week, one month, one year, we are listening to others, we are focusing on things outside of ourselves. Would it be unreasonable for us to spend just one hour with ourselves, appreciating our bodies & minds, loving ourselves, learning more about ourselves?

I don't even want my students to listen to me all the time. If a pose doesn't feel right for you, immediately come out of it, or if your body is telling you to move a certain way, then do it, regardless of what else is going on in class at that moment. Just don't be a nuisance to others, & don't start dancing the Macarena. The non-classical Harlem Shake would be acceptable, though. Bahahahahah! 'Do the Harlem Shake!' :P Just kidding..!

So yes, please do come to my class, even if it is just for the Savasnana!