So, the human mind finds it very difficult to accept any moment in totality, or to accept the rising of one's Self in totality. There is always a duality, so...in this moment I accept the feeling of love, but when the feeling of hate arises in me, I reject it. In another moment, I accept the feeling of joy, but when the feeling of sorrow arises in me, I reject it.
- Lalla The Buddha -
We always hear the masters saying, 'Do not attach to anything.' But do you understand the depth of this statement?
Once, a travelling monk reached the palace of a king who was well-known for his indulgences, yet also known to be a wise man. The monk was granted permission to stay within the palace walls for a few days. One day, the king invited the monk to accompany him to the river. As they were bathing in the river, the monk saw smoke in the distance, & in a flurry rushed out of the river to put on his clothes.
The king asked him, 'What's the matter?'
'Can't you see! Your palace is on fire! & my clothes are in there!'
At which point the king started laughing, 'My dear friend, I am a king. & my whole palace is going down in fire, everything I own is in there, even my family. Yet I am still relaxed. & you? You are worried about your few pieces of clothes!?!'
Dear friends, being unattached does not mean we have to own nothing. It does not mean that we must doom ourselves to live lives of paupers. No! You can damn well own a Ferrari, if your heart so pleases. You can damn well have a large collection of watches, if it is within your means. & you can damn well have a huge bank account, if your passion rakes in the monies.
But it does mean that you do not allow anything to own you.
The question is: How gracefully are you able to let go?
Similarly with human emotions. We become so attached to the 'positive' emotions that we become repelled by the thought of experiencing 'negative' emotions! & then, ironically, attachment also forms towards the avoidance of 'negative' emotions, bahahahahah does that make sense?
So how can we fully accept ourselves in our totality, if we choose to acknowledge one aspect of ourselves & not the other? In the first place, how can good exist if there is no bad? How can light exist without darkness? How can big exist without small? Neither ceases to exist without the other! So how can you be 'good' if there is no 'bad' within you? :P
I really love Huffington Post article on transforming anger according to Osho.
'In controlling you repress, in transforming you express (...) Sensitivity grows with awareness. Through control you become dull & dead. That is part of the mechanism of control: if you are dull & dead, then nothing will affect you, as if the body has become a citadel; a defense. Nothing will affect you, neither insult nor love.'
'I am feeling *insert emotion here*.'
'Why am I feeling this way?'
'What did/did I not do to cause this?'
'Why am I responding this way?'
What do I need to do to express this emotion, without harming others?'
You get the gist of it.
The main idea is to not ignore, repress or avoid any emotion. In fact, I would say enjoy them! Go deep to the source! & if you are aware enough, completely immerse yourself in them! When you are happy - jump for joy, laugh out loud; when you are angry, get good & angry - beat your pillow, bury your face into it & scream & shout, go for a jog; anything as long as you do not hurt another.
& when you are fully open to the very human-ness of your being, you can fully embrace & love yourself. & guess what happens when you fully accept yourself? You are able to accept & love others in their totality too.