If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. & guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
- Jim Rohn -
Recently this question was brought to my attention: 'What do you have planned for me?'
It took my Pentium 1 brain a few extra seconds to process it. It was somewhat shocking, because more often than not, I find it is an ongoing internal battle to stop myself from creating ideas about what/how someone is; so I don't really plan for other people nowadays.
Not too long ago, I was someone who had certain ideals of another, & try my very best to 'help' them into becoming what I thought was 'the best version of themselves'. & boy did I try, even at the expense of my own well-being!
We can all agree that we each have our own purpose in life, yes? Even not having a purpose is a purpose - does that make sense? & who is to know, what another's purpose is? Shit, I don't even know what my purpose in life is, how the hell am I supposed to know what your purpose is??? & who am I to fit you into my idea of what you're supposed to be???
Recently I've become an even bigger fan of 'listening to oneself' as well as 'accepting others as they are'.
When we really appreciate the importance of listening to one's self, we can also begin to accept when others listen to themselves instead of us. We give them space to grow in their own time & at their own pace. We drop any preconceptions about them. Heck, sometimes we even drop what we do know about them.
You see, every human being essentially has free will. So this also means that he/she has the liberty to choose what she/he wants, regardless of what we think about the matter.
So, back to the main topic. I think this 'planning' thing happens (& often goes wrong) especially in the parent-child relationship. Especially in certain parts of the world where the parents decide the career path of their child the moment the poor child is born! :P
It's like the child comes whoosh out of the womb, & the parents cradle the tiny infant in their arms, 'My little doctor/lawyer/*insert career of choice here*!'...which is absolutely ridiculous!
What if the child grew up & wanted to be a farmer, an artist, heck what if he/she wanted to be something other than what the parent had planned for them?
'Son, by so-&-so year, you will graduate from high school with flying colours. Then you'll enter so-&-so college, graduate & do your internship with Company X, then go on to work for them for twenty & a half years before you start up your own company.'
'Dad, I want to drive a school bus when I grow up.'
Bahahahahah! How do you expect someone else to totally comply with what you have planned for them???
So...what do I have planned for you?
I do not have anything planned for you. You are a free, unique individual; & the greatest gift I can give to you is the space that we share, with as little restriction as possible.
I do not have anything planned for you. But I will support you in all your endeavours, whatever they may be.
I do have something planned for you. I am striving to be the best human I can be, so that I will not be a burden to you. So that you can do your thing, without having to worry about me.
I do have something planned for you. I plan to be present in every interaction I have with you. I plan to not hold you up to the sometimes false ideals I have about you. I plan to share that space with you when you are finally doing something you've always wanted to do & you say, 'Hell yeah, this is it!'
& this applies to everyone else too.
My precious friends & family, I want you all to have the freedom to be yourselves, to be comfortable enough to be 120% real around me. & I will support your dreams & goals, whatever they may be. As long as you are not hurting yourself, anyone or anything else.
I may see greatness in you, but that is my own interpretation of the person you are. It is up to you to determine what you want to do in this lifetime. You do not have to live up my ideals of what kind of person you can be.
We can also liken life to a party. So you're going to host the party of your life, & of course it would make things a whole lot easier for you if I did not get drunk, argue with the other guests, & wreck your house, right? It would, however, be helpful & add to the enjoyment of all if I brought cake, lent a hand in the kitchen, & basically not make a nuisance of myself!
So, plan that gotdang party already! I'd probably cause more trouble than anything in the kitchen, but I enjoy doing the dishes & cleaning up! 'Will do the dishes & clean up in exchange for food!' Bahahahahah!