Thursday, August 6, 2015

Self. Self. Self.

Life doesn't always go as we want it to. Things come & go. People come & go. The things we hold dear to our hearts. The things we invest our time & efforts into.

The thing I really appreciate about yoga, & the thing that has changed my life for the better, is the idea that it is really all about our Self. It's all about doing what you think/feel is best for you, not anybody else. Because if you're not happy, how are you supposed to make anybody else happy?

& nobody is going to make you happy, all of the time. The only person you can really depend on is yourself. You are directly responsible for your own actions & their consequences, not anybody else.

Dreams, hopes, promises; everything is just an illusion which can be so easily shattered. Words are always only that - words. What lies in the future, nobody knows; hell, nobody should even be giving a fuck because we yogis should be living only in the present, shouldn't we???

& another thing is, you can never control the behaviour & reality of others. Today they feel this way, so they tell you this. & you believe them. Tomorrow they feel another way, & they tell you another thing. & you believe them. & it goes on & on & on. When will the madness end? When does one draw the line between not expecting people to live up to their words, & not trusting them? Is it not foolishness to remain still while they go on changing their minds? Especially when it comes to a joint venture you both invest in?

It's like at first the both of you promised to put in 50 - 50 every day. But somehow, somewhere along the line, some days the other puts in 20, other days they put in 10, some days none, but then again some days that 50 is back in there again. It's all good to say that you should remove expectations. But at the same time, realize your worth. Realize what you deserve. If you are in a joint venture, you have to accept the fact that it is called a joint venture for a reason.

Back to the topic. Inner work is so important. Selfishness is so important. & I've been in this classroom so many times, yet I'm still being called back to repeat it. It is hard to hold back on giving to others. On hindsight, I realize it has always been one of my misgivings.

Be selfish to be selfless. Hah. Challenge accepted.

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