Sunday, January 22, 2017

If Someone Says The 'M' Word Again, Imma Lose My Shit.

What is maturity? Is it the ability to handle situations without getting emotional? Having the understanding of how the world functions? Is it the capacity to accept things 'as is', even though you know it's bullshit?

Well, I've never ever considered myself a mature person, even if people sometimes exclaim, 'Waaah, you so matured one???'...erm...then why do I feel like a stumbling five year old who overdosed on cough syrup?

For most of my life, I've felt like I am just acting out a role, that I'm just pretending to be an adult instead of being an actual adult (whatever the hell 'being an adult' means, bahahahahah!). I don't have a college degree, have never held a 9-5 job, don't know shit about world economics, don't have three & a half babies...the list goes on. & it freaks me out that someday I'd be walking in, say, a shopping complex & someone would just point at me & call me out on my charade. You get what I mean.

When I was younger, I used to look at my elders & think, 'Wow they know everything,' & 'When I get to that age I bet I'd be so damn grown up'. Fast forward yonks later & here I am, not feeling any smarter, & in fact sometimes feeling even more foolish than I was during my younger years. Feck. :P :P :P

But then there are times when I notice how my perspective on things have changed, & how I respond differently towards situations & people. The things which truly matter in life have changed dramatically. Hopeless romantic that I am, even love songs sound different nowadays, & typical romantic movies/books/series rarely catch my fancy. Sometimes it makes me think, damn, this drama of life is getting boring. Does that count as maturity? Hmmm...a bit sien woh, like this...huhuhu...

In my experience, most of the people I consider matured have been through a heckuva lot of bullshit. Some have experienced childhood trauma of some sort, others have at an early age witnessed the death of loved ones, the list goes on. It seems as if life was forcing itself on them so that they would understand it sooner than their peers. But in the end, all these experiences helped mould them into better people. & truly, these people are some of the best people I know of.

I am reminded of this verse from the Bible:
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.
- I Corinthians 13:11 -

I guess just like anything else in life, everyone has their own interpretation of what 'childish' & 'matured' look like. To me, I think being an adult doesn't only mean being able to pay the bills, buying your own shiz & having your own car, own house, etc. You don't have to give up Saturday morning cartoons in order to be a grown up.

I think being matured means knowing yourself well enough to treat others with respect & compassion.
It means being able to set your needs aside for a while when a friend is in need.
It means understanding that things don't always go your way, but that doesn't mean that the Universe isn't working in your favour.
'Adulting' means not taking yourself too seriously.
It means being able to see the wonder in life, while maintaining a clear mind on how potentially brutal the world can be.
To be matured means knowing that life happens, & although you have your life to live, it is necessary to tread lightly & cause the least harm to others.

Sometimes, adulting can get tiring. But I'm sure goats have their fair share of problems too!

Grateful for everything that has transpired in this lifetime.

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