Friday, January 20, 2017

Yoga: My Saviour.

With everything that has happened the past week or so, I am truly grateful for the blessing of yoga. Of course, things are never always easy, but applying the principles of yoga philosophy have helped tremendously. Situations which would have required hours or even days, weeks, months to resolve, can be settled within minutes, sometimes even few seconds. Amazing.

According to yoga, you are responsible for yourself. Therefore nobody can help you but yourself. As much as we would love someone to always be there for us, at the end of the day, it's every man for himself. & the sooner we come to terms with this, the better.

It's funny how it will soon be a year since I was curled up in a ball on my bedroom floor, crying & shivering with sadness & fear. It was not one of the easiest things to do in life, yet it was one of the most beautiful.

When the realization of utter freedom hits, it hits hard. For me, it was so overwhelming that I literally lost it. The absolute understanding that my worth does not depend on any external factor, that I am absolutely free to do anything I wish was terrifying. Especially when I had lived my whole life up to that point thinking that something else determined who I was, something else bound me to live the life that I am living, etc.

Fast forward to last week, when I participated in the Shakti Festival in New Delhi. Many women commented on how carefree I am, & how they wished they could be like me & dance & laugh all the time.

& each time I told them the same story.

My loves, freedom is easy, but it will not be easy to come to terms with it, simply because we have all been subconsciously told that we are not free beings. & when I say 'free beings', I also mean free from your past, however ugly it may be, free from whatever others think of you, free from whatever restrictions you have put on yourself.

To come to terms with the fact that you are a free being, you will need to put in the necessary work. It requires a lot of self-study, a lot of contemplation, a lot of soul-seeking. Whoever said spiritual work was easy? It will be uncomfortable, there will be a lot of sweat & tears. But it will be worth it, I guarantee you.

Prior to my ball-curling shenanigans, I actually had another meltdown a few years back. However, the one thing which made all the difference this time was my yoga training. Because of this, an event which most would have considered a bad thing, became one of the biggest blessings of my life.

How so?

In yoga we are honing our awareness. We are strengthening the watcher in us. So when emotions arise, we are able to be with them, yet not identify with them. & from this space of awareness, we are able to process everything from a neutral standpoint.

So, when you get sad & cry, cry to your heart's content. But once the urge to cry is gone, pick yourself up & get on with life. Cry, so what? How long can you cry? How long can you stay in that mindset? Everything that goes up must come down, & it is the same with life; there will be good times & bad times - be with each moment in totality, with complete awareness, but don't prolong it unnecessarily. & another important thing: don't beat yourself up over anything.

So. When I felt like crying, I bawled my eyes out, hugged my knees & shivered as much as I needed to. But when the feeling passed, I just lay there in awe of what just transpired, in shock of the freedom that was in front of me. & when even that quiet time passed, I picked myself up & got on with life.

The same goes with happiness too. I'm also asked, 'How can I stay happy all the time?' My dear, good times come & go as well. The thing is how you manage your 'down times'. When you are angry or sad, do you simply throw your anger & sadness at others? Or do you have enough awareness to manage your emotions in a healthy way? So I really am not happy all the time. I just am very selective how & with whom I share my down times & other emotions with. I'm sure those of you who know me well enough, or who have been following my writings, know that I do not play coy when it comes to expressing any emotion, experience or opinion, even though it may not suit everyone all the time.

By the way, big shout out to those who have been strong enough to hold space for me. Love you all to the moon & back.

Even madness comes & goes. Bahahahahah!

Coincidentally, Madhu Sudan Baba-ji gave a similar parable about happiness. He said life is like a passing day, morning & night come & go, similarly feelings come & go too. If one understands this, one understands life. & one does not cling to happiness nor any other emotion.

Kya bhat, Baba-ji. Jai ho.

Even the desire to be happy all the time is a desire, a clinging, an attachment! Which, to me is the challenge of being a Tantrika. Yes, Tantra seems to be an easy way, full of over-indulgence & enjoyment. But the same work towards detachment is still there. Indeed, any situation which we enter into with awareness is spiritual & self-growth work.

Have a great weekend, dear friends. <3 <3 <3

No comments:

Post a Comment