Okey, so how in the H did I not ever know of this beautiful piece of music???
Thank you. Thank you for everything, good & bad. One of my favourite Rumi quotes which I really resonate with is:
I asked, 'Why have I received only this?' A voice replied, 'Only This will lead you to That.'
- Rumi -
This week, I had the good fortune of having a beautiful heart to heart talk with one of the strongest women I've ever personally known.
The Universe really works in mysterious ways. We knew of each other's existence for almost a year now, but yet we were never really inclined to talk to each other. Yet somehow this time, things just fell into place.
In many ways, our experiences were similar. & yet in many other ways, they were dissimilar. My trials seemed trivial compared to hers. I really admire her strength. I learned many things through that conversation, yet the thing that matters most is that I learned I am not alone.
Through this knowing that I am not alone, I found courage & a sense of comradery. Through our shared experiences, we formed an almost immediate bond, kind of like, 'I see you, woman!'
The face I was making on the inside at that time. Bahahahahah..!
In the past, when bad times came, I used to ask, 'Why me?', & over the years, as I slowly came to understand that everything happens for a reason, another voice replied, 'Why not you?' Bahahahahahah!
Everything that has happened has made me who I am today. & because of who I am today, I can share & connect better with others. Because I have firsthand experience, I can confidently relate to others or share with them if they are going through something similar.
I enjoy people much more nowadays.
I never realized exactly when this transition took place. In fact, someone asked me a few weeks ago, 'How did you overcome your introverted-ness?' I guess I did not. I still need a shitload of Alone Time, & people still overwhelm me sometimes. I just outgrew some of my shyness and insecurities. I used to think that I needed to be this perfect person in order to fit in. I used to be afraid of what others might say or think of me. I came to terms with the fact that at any given point of time, I will irk at least one or two people. What to do? I can't fuck myself up worrying what other people may think about me!
I've never been socially active in my life; never been one to actively seek others. But that has all changed now. Now I understand why in the past I used to feel so drained when hanging out with people. We just weren't a vibrational match, that's all.
Be very aware of the people who suck the life out of you, & the people who empower you.
I really, really value my connections with people who 'get' me, and are willing to 'dive deep', regardless of what their passions or interests are. It's true, friendship is the highest love. Just a pure connection, a sharing of space & time; regardless of what each other does for a living, what we have done in the past, what we will do in the future. What is here & now? Who is this soul in front of me? What is he/she about? Acceptance is key.
What I also love a lot about connecting with others is that the things we talk about sometimes create 'aha' moments in me. Good example would be with the introvert question earlier. Fuck me, I never really thought about that before; & it was really an OMFG moment for me. I live for OMFG moments, bahahahahah!
Thank you, my dear friends. Thank you for making space for me in your lives. Thank you for sharing a part of your journey with me. I've always gotten a lot of shit for not being a run-of-the-mill Malaysian Chinese girl, so I really appreciate those who love me for who I am. I may also not conform to your idea of a yoga teacher; but yet you accept me just the same. It means a heckuva lot to me.
Speaking the same language is not as powerful as speaking the language of the heart.
- Rumi -
I've been thinking about Karas quite a bit too this past week. Tomorrow will mark 3 months since he crossed over. At times like these, I wish I could share my happiness with him, although I know he knows what is happening, & we have never really been separated. I understand why he chose me, way back on that day at the food stall. I understand why everything happened.
What relationship would be complete without those indescribable moments of random madness?
'What the hell does all this have to do with yoga???'
I hear you, you yoga prudes! Bahahahah! I was a yoga prude too, so I get you!
True yoga is not about the shape of your body,
It is about the shape of your life.
- Aadil Pakhivala -
It's true. I came to yoga through asana (yoga poses). But from that physical aspect of yoga, I discovered something much, much larger. I found life. & life is enriched with the presence of others.
Cheers to the weekend. Cheers to life.